Everything I Do
by justmovingon
Summary: Unexpected news threatens to tear apart Tom and Doug's relationship. Slash, sexual situations
1. Chapter 1

Quiet laughter could be heard coming from up in the locker room, along with barely audible kisses being exchanged behind the cover of Doug Penhall's locker door, where Tom Hanson was currently leaning against as his lover kissed him

Quiet laughter could be heard coming from up in the locker room, along with barely audible kisses being exchanged behind the cover of Doug Penhall's locker door, where Tom Hanson was currently leaning against as his lover kissed him.

A few minutes later, the two police officers made their way down the stairs and were about to sit down to do some work, but Fuller called out Doug's name, beckoning him to come into his office.

"Be right back," Doug said to Tom, who only smiled and sat down at his desk as Doug was ushered into their Captain's office.

"So, Tom…" Judy said conversationally, gracefully sitting at the edge of his desk. "How's it going?"

"Good," the young man replied, still smiling. She was the only one who knew about their relationship so far, and he knew that she always loved to hear details about them. "How are you, Judy?"

She rolled her eyes and lowered her voice as she said, "I meant, how's it going between you and Doug?"

Tom gently bit his lip and sighed, "It's great, actually." He lowered his voice and added, "He's such a romantic… he makes dinner for me every night, and whenever I try to say that he doesn't have to do it, he just shuts me up and…"

"Yes??" Judy said, sounding interested.

The other cop smiled blissfully and finished, "What we do is for our eyes and ears only, _Judith_."

"Alright, _Thomas, _I'll get the information from Douglas," she said, hopping off his desk and sticking her tongue out at him before she left.

Soon, Doug walked out of Fuller's office, looking angry and miserable as he made his way over to Tom, who frowned in worry as he stood and said, "What's the matter?"

Doug just shook his head and said, "I have to –"

"Penhall, Hanson, you two are undercover over at Lincoln, right?" Fuller called out again, interrupting Doug.

They both nodded, and Fuller continued, "Well, the guy you're trying to bust just made a new deal – I want you down there immediately."

As they hurried out of the office, Doug mumbled, "I'll tell you later, alright?"

Tom nodded, quickly placing a kiss on Doug's cheek as he replied, "Don't worry about it, okay? I'll talk to you later."

Doug nodded sullenly, getting into his car. _Maybe _it would work out in the end. He sighed. Hopefully.

"You're leaving?"

"Yeah."

"Oh." Tom turned around and averted his gaze from Doug's. "Why do they need you?"

"They've started a new undercover unit down in Florida, and they needed a few people from over here."

"Why'd they choose you?" Tom asked quietly, still keeping his eyes on the floor instead of Doug.

"I've been with Jumpstreet for a while now, and they said I had the most experience," the other cop replied, running his hand through his hair as he added, "Look, Tom –"

"I really have to get this report written up before tomorrow, Doug," Tom said, walking away from his lover and not noticing the hurt that flashed across Doug's eyes. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, alright?"

Doug sighed and nodded. "Okay."

He walked to Tom's apartment door and opened it, slowly making his way down the hall. Tom closed the door behind Doug, holding his emotions in until he heard his lover walking down the stairs that led out of his apartment building.

Quickly, Tom walked into his bedroom and fell onto his bed as he began sobbing, burying his face into his pillow. His tears rolled down his cheeks and left moist trails across his face as his gasps and sobs wracked his entire body. He never even heard his front door open, or the sound of footsteps entering his bedroom.

Suddenly, he left somebody's hand on his shoulder, and Tom sat up, falling right into Doug's arms.

"Doug," he sobbed, "Please don't leave…"

He wrapped his arms around Doug's shoulders and let himself fall against his lover's strong chest, sobbing, "Don't leave… don't leave…"

Doug put his arms around Tom's waist and pulled him up to sit on his lap, whispering, "Shh, calm down… we'll think of something, we'll work something out…"

Tom only continued crying quietly, trying to stop the sounds involuntarily coming out of his mouth before he said, "What… what if… we n- never see each other again?"

"That won't happen," his lover reassured him, sounding only half-convinced himself. "That _can't _happen. You're the best thing that's ever happened to me, Tommy."

Tom now rested his head on Doug's shoulder, still sitting on his lap on the bed, and quietly said, "I love you, Doug. I don't know what I'd do without you."

Doug pressed his lips against Tom's cheek and entwined his fingers into his dark brown hair as he replied, "I know, if feels like I couldn't live without you…"

"Promise me we'll do everything we can to keep you here, okay?"

"I'll try," the older cop whispered, "I'll try…"

Tom pulled away slightly, looking concerned. "Unless you… don't want to stay here?"

"No, no – how can you think that?" Doug said, looking into Tom's dark brown, watery eyes as he reached up with both hands to gently wipe the tears off his cheeks. "Of course I'm going to try to stay here…"

He leant forward until their lips touched, and he was glad to feel Tom's hands slide around his neck as they kissed tenderly, both of their heartbeats racing as they slowly fell onto Tom's bed, Doug still cradling Tom close to him when he let out another quiet, stifled sob.

"Tom," Doug whispered, almost on the verge of tears, "Please don't cry like that, you're making me feel horrible…"

At that, Tom sniffled again and wiped his eyes, looking up at his lover through long, dark lashes as he said, "I'm sorry, I'm such a wreck sometimes…"

He began sliding his fingers through Doug's wavy hair, murmuring, "It just really took me by surprise, that's all. I got scared."

"Of what?" Doug questioned quietly.

"That I wouldn't be with the man I love," he replied, once again averting his gaze. His eyes filled with tears again. "What if you can't stay, Doug?"

Doug sighed. "I don't know," he said truthfully.

"I don't expect you to give up your job, you love being a cop…"

"Let's not worry about it now, alright?" Doug said quickly, sending a pleading look to Tom, who took the hint and merely nodded before tilting his chin up so they could kiss again. This time, they both let themselves drown in the sensation of feeling soft hands and even softer lips caress each other's skin.

Soon, they were both lost in pleasure as they slid out of their clothes, always maintaining eye contact, except for when Tom had to close his eyes and arch his back as Doug slowly entered him. But their lips never had to part for more than a few seconds, and they were both thankful for it.

--

Tom woke up later, expecting to hear Doug's deep, steady breathing next to him, but his room was quiet. He lifted his head off the pillow and looked at the other side of the bed, which was empty. He looked down at himself and realized that Doug had carefully covered him with blankets, so he wouldn't get cold.

"Doug?" he called out; the first thought that appeared in his mind was that Doug had already left to go to his new job, and Tom quickly sat up, almost shouting, "Doug, where are you?"

His heart jumped into his throat – oh no, Doug left already, and Tom would be alone – he couldn't believe this was happening, he'd never been happier in his life than when he was with Doug, and now he's gone and –

Like a sign from heaven, Tom noticed a sheet of paper on his bedside table. Quickly, he picked it up, pulling the blankets tighter around his bare skin as he began reading,

_Tom, _

_I just left to go to the office to talk to Fuller. I'll call you tonight._

_Love you, _

_Doug_

The dark-haired cop sighed with relief and momentarily closed his eyes, forcing his mind not to think about what would happen if Doug left.

They just _had_ to figure out a way to make Doug stay.


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

Part 2

"What if I quit?" Doug asked angrily, slamming his fist down onto Fuller's desk. Tom flinched and momentarily closed his eyes, thinking.

The Captain sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Go ahead and quit, then."

A short silence followed, all three of them knowing full well that Doug could never quit being a police officer. Finally, Doug asked, "Can't they get someone else, Captain?"

"It's out of my hands, Penhall," Fuller replied quietly, seeming to notice the way that his two officers exchanged sad looks.

"But, coach… why Doug, specifically?" Tom asked.

"The guys downtown just delivered the message to me, Hanson. They don't know either."

Another silence followed, but after a while, Tom quietly said, "Can I go with him?"

Doug lifted his head from his hands. "I won't let you," he said quickly.

Before the younger man had a chance to speak, Fuller cut in, "Penhall's right. They only requested Doug - only one Jump Street undercover officer."

Tom sighed despairingly. "So there's no hope?"

"I don't see any chance of changing this, guys," Fuller stated, "I'm sorry."

As they made their way out of Fuller's office, Tom's eyes filled with tears, and even though he kept his head bowed and didn't say anything, Doug saw and whispered, "Shh, Tommy… c'mon…"

He led them up the stairs to the lockers and, after checking to see if they were alone, Doug held his arms out to Tom, who merely walked forward and let himself be embraced as he began crying softly, so softly that Doug could barely hear him.

"It's not fair," Tom mumbled, his voice muffled by Doug's shirt. He had his eyes shut tight as he continued, "Why won't they take me, too?"

"I don't know," Doug whispered back, his own voice thick with emotion. He couldn't believe it himself; after two years of being around Tom every single say, how would this affect him?

--

Doug paced around his living room, thinking. Could he quit being a cop? No. Could he quit being a Jump Street undercover officer?

He groaned loudly. It was too much. Letting his anger get the best of him, as he often did, he drove his fist into the wall, satisfied when he heard the resounding crack of knuckle against brick.

Tom immediately went to Doug, saying, "Doug, stop it!"

But Doug punched the wall two more times, and would have continued were it not for his lover stepping in and literally dragging him away from it. Tom pushed him down onto the couch.

Doug winced in pain when he realized his entire hand was throbbing, and he lifted it up to his eyes, surveying it. His knuckles had turned blood-red, and they were already beginning to swell. Tom sighed and went to the kitchen, soon returning with a wet washcloth.

He sat next to his lover and picked up his hand, gently running the cool cloth over it and mumbling, "Don't be like that, Dougie…"

Doug's head began aching, and he closed his eyes. Tom saw this, for he gently said, "Here, just lay down for a bit and relax…"

Doug shifted down until his head was comfortably on Tom's lap, and he let his eyelids droop shut, falling in love with the sensation of his lover's slender fingers sliding through his hair.

Eventually, Doug fell asleep, and Tom just stared down at his lover, just thinking. "I'll miss you, you big lug…"

--

"I have to fly down there for two days to check out their system," Doug read aloud from his recently-opened letter.

"Oh yeah?" Tom said.

"Yeah… my plane leaves tonight, and I'll be back by Saturday," he said, throwing the letter onto the table and rubbing his eyes. He sighed. "What are they doing to me?"

Tom frowned and sat on the arm of the couch, giving Doug's shoulder a comforting squeeze as he murmured, "You're worrying too much over this, Doug…"

Doug pulled his lover down onto his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist. "Yeah, maybe…"

Tom smiled slightly before placing a few sweet kisses on his lover's lips. "Are you gonna go?"

"I may as well check out if they're anything like we are here," Doug replied. He spent a few moments thinking as he rested his head on the back of the couch. "I have to go home and pack my bags."

Tom nodded. "Okay. Call me when you get there."

"I will." Doug gently took Tom's face in his hands and kissed his lips, pulling back to mumble, "I'll be back in no time, you'll see."

The younger cop merely nodded, and after he gave his lover one final hug and led him out the door, he sank down onto his couch, wondering how his life would change if Doug weren't around.

He'd have to get a new partner, first of all. Tom sighed. He hated that. And he couldn't drive over to Doug's apartment in the middle of the night to talk anymore. They could never be the McQuaid brothers again. Tom would have to sleep alone every night, usually woken up by his regular nightmares. They never bothered him when Doug was with him, only when he was alone.

He couldn't make Doug a special dinner on his birthday, or get in the shower with him before work. They couldn't make excuses to their 'high school teachers' as to why they'd been absent from class for a half hour, only to be found in the boys locker room, making out.

Tom smiled at the memory. He lay down and closed his eyes, replaying the day they'd finally gotten together…

_Tom hadn't seen Doug in the auditorium for a while now. Worried, he went out in the halls to look for him, only to see smoke filling up the corridors. _

_After the fire department had put out the fire, Tom had rushed past the other police officers, looking frantic. When he saw Doug sitting down leaning against the wall, he dropped to his knees and hugged him tight, almost crying, "Damn you, I thought you were dead, Penhall!"_

_Doug only offered a gentle smile and ruffled Tom's hair, saying, "Nah, you can't get rid of me that easily."_

"_Do you need anything? First aid? Water? A lift home?"_

_Doug shook his head, and Tom smiled, a nervous fluttery feeling appearing in his stomach. He found himself unconsciously leaning forward, and before he knew it, he and Doug were kissing._

The young cop sighed and stretched out on the couch. There was no way around it. He knew that Doug couldn't go stop being and undercover officer… so, unless he quit his job, they'd have to make their relationship work. Somehow.

Tom began to get worried. What if Doug met someone new? What if, the day that Tom came to visit, Doug told him that he'd found another man to be with?

Needing reassurance, he reached for the phone and dialed Doug's number. After a few moments, he heard his lover pick up.

"Hello?"

"Will you still love me?" Tom blurted out, hating himself for sounding so desperate.

"Tom?" Doug's voice was confused. "Wha – yes, of course I will. What are you talking about?"

"Well… since I won't be there, I thought…" he trailed off.

"You thought I'd cheat on you?" Doug asked quietly.

When Tom didn't answer, he went on, saying, "I could never do that to you, Tommy. You know that."

Tom nodded slightly, then realized that Doug couldn't see him, so he said, "Yeah. I'm sorry; I just got a little paranoid."

"Well, relax," Doug reassured him. He paused. "Are you still at home?"

"Yeah."

"Give me a few minutes, and I'll come over, okay?"

"It's okay, you don't have to, Doug," Tom said, now feeling slightly embarrassed. "I'm alright."

"No, I'll be right over," Doug said, then hung up.

--

Doug knew what type of person Tom was. He needed reassurance that he was doing things correctly. But it was seldom that he did something wrong. Everything but police work was included in there. Tom knew what to do when he was undercover, but he was never sure if he was…

Doug sighed. Tom wasn't sure if he made Doug happy, that was it.

Knowing that Tom wouldn't mind if he let himself in, he opened his apartment door and found his lover standing in the kitchen. As Tom looked up and smiled, Doug closed the door behind him and within a few heartbeats, encircled the other man's slim waist and kissed him.

--

There was no way he could give up Tom. From the day they'd started their relationship, he loved him. Tom was funny, smart, kind, caring, gentle, beautiful… Doug could hardly believe his luck.

Tom's lips were full, pouty, and soft to the touch. They could gently kiss Doug's cheek, being angelic and delicate, and at other times, could do damage in more devious places that would make Doug melt into a pile of goo because those very same lips are _sinful_.

At the present moment, those lips were kissing a burning trail down the line of Doug's throat.

Their bodies moved together rhythmically as Tom set a slow speed, rocking his pelvis along Doug's body in a way that left them both moaning and gasping. Doug sat up as well, winding his arms around Tom's waist and watching as his lover arched his back, moving his member deeper into his body.

He watched Tom's face, fully concentrated on bringing pleasure to both of them. Soft sounds were torn from his throat occasionally, his eyes were half-closed in pleasure, and his arms were securely wrapped around Doug's neck.

In what felt like a few short moments, Doug's climax washed over him, and he watched as Tom climaxed as well, his small frame momentarily trembling before Doug pulled out of his body and lay down on the bed.

They lay together in silence, both thinking the same thing. Doug wrapped an arm around Tom's hips and pulled him in close. The younger cop smiled sadly, closing his eyes when his lover kissed him on the forehead.

"I'll miss you," he mumbled.

"I'll miss you, too," Doug whispered back, not wanting to think about it. "I'll miss you, too…"


	3. Chapter 3

Part 3

Part 3

After Tom turned off the ignition, he just sat there, looking out the window, his eyes red-rimmed but not tear-filled. He turned his face towards Doug's and said, "So you're really going?"

Doug nodded. "Yeah, I guess I am."

"I love you. And I'll miss you," Tom said quietly, his voice devoid of any emotion. He was tired. Tired of crying.

"I'll miss you, too," his lover whispered. They'd said goodbye last night, and once again this morning… but it wasn't able to compete with not seeing each other for more than a year, at least.

Doug put his hand on Tom's thigh and leant in, and they met halfway, joining their lips in a tender, heartbreaking kiss.

Various moments flashed past Tom's closed eyelids, and he forced himself not to think about it, even as he and Doug reluctantly pulled apart. They got out of the car and carried Doug's suitcases along with them as they entered the airport and found the right gate.

A feeling of total hopelessness washed over Tom. This was actually it. He'd been foolish to hold out some sort of hope that, at the last moment, something would happen and Doug wouldn't have to leave.

He was pulled out of his thoughts when he heard Judy's voice proclaim, "Oh, Doug! I'll miss you so much!"

He shook his head to clear it, and saw that Fuller, Harry, and Judy were there as well. Judy was currently latched onto Doug, crying onto his shoulder. Doug was awkwardly trying to console her, but to little avail.

"Oh, Judy…" he said, hugging her, "Don't worry, I'll call you every day, okay?"

Sniffling a little, Judy nodded after puling away from Doug and instead turning to Tom, who only offered a sad smile and held his arms out for her. Beginning to cry again, Judy hugged Tom, absently watching as Doug exchanged a few words with Harry and hugged him as well.

Finally, after Judy pulled herself together and off Tom, meekly apologizing for making a mess of his shirt, Tom saw that Fuller and Doug had shaken hands and shared a brief hug. Doug turned to his lover now, after his friends stepped back and allowed them some space. They hugged tightly and, not caring that everyone would be shocked, joined their mouths together in a kiss.

After what seemed like hours, Tom made himself pull away from the most important person in his life, breathing shallow but still not finding the energy to cry.

"Goodbye, Doug," he whispered against his lips. He felt Doug's chest quickly moving up and down against his, and the motion only caused his heart to ache more.

Doug stepped back and picked up his bags, turning around and walking over to his gate.

Tom watched him go, and the feelings that swallowed his body threatened to finally break him. Once Doug was out of sight, he sat down and put his head in his hands, hearing Judy, Harry, and Fuller approach.

"I'm sorry, Hanson," Fuller said quietly, "There's nothing I could have done."

"I know, Captain," Tom said quietly.

"Tom – man, do you wanna go out for a drink tonight?" Harry asked.

Tom shook his head. "Not tonight, Iokage. Tomorrow?"

"I'll call you tonight, alright?" Judy said quietly. He nodded.

Quietly, they all left, and Tom was left alone in his seat. Even now, he hoped that Doug would suddenly come back through the gate, and they'd be together again.

He waited. Doug didn't come back.

--

After Judy left, Tom gladly sank onto his couch with a bottle of beer, relieved that he was finally alone. "Two more hours," he said to himself after checking his watch, "Two more hours until I can hear his voice."

He knew how depressed he must have sounded, and he mentally reprimanded himself for being so… emotional. "God, I miss you so much already, Doug…"

He was shaken out of his misery when someone knocked on his door, and he got up, still holding his beer, and opened the door, only to see Judy standing there. "Sorry," she said, "I forgot my purse."

As Tom went back to the couch and retrieved her purse, she said, "Look, Hanson, I know you must feel horrible about all this…"

"I'm okay, Judy," he said, knowing full well that she could see through his lie, "We'll still see each other when we're on vacation…"

She frowned slightly before she tentatively said, "Well, what would you think about… meeting someone new?"

He shot her a look. "No, thanks."

She raised her hands in defeat and replied, "Just a suggestion, that's all. I thought you'd be happier if you had someone."

"I told you," he said seriously, "I love Doug."

She shrugged and took her purse, turning around only to say goodbye before she left and Tom shut the door again.

The young cop went back to his place on the couch and turned the TV on. He flipped through the channels absently, not really paying attention to what he was watching.

He was halfway though his second bottle of beer when he heard another knock at the door. He briefly glanced around his apartment again, wondering what Judy forgot this time.

"What did you forget, Judy?" he called out.

He heard the door open, and he turned around.

"_Doug!"_

Tom practically flew over the back of the couch, stumbled across the room, and into Doug's strong arms, wrapping his arms around his neck and shamelessly winding his legs around his lover's torso as he practically cried, "What are you doing here? You left hours ago! I never –"

He was cut off by Doug's lips firmly pressing against his own. A soft moan of happiness wrung itself from Tom's throat as he felt Doug's arms tighten around his waist, keeping him securely pressed against his body.

"I couldn't," was Doug's simple reply.

Tom fought not to cry again as he said, "You'll be in so much trouble, you idiot…"

He hugged Doug again, muttering, "They're gonna kill you, Penhall… I can't believe…" He kissed Doug's neck and tightened his arms around him. "You idiot… I can't believe you didn't go!"

He felt Doug smile just before he replied, "Well, if you think I'm an idiot, then I guess there's no use of me staying here…" And he began walking out the door again, but Tom yelled out, "No! No, Doug – I don't think you're an idiot," while tightening his legs around him as well. "Don't leave…"

He pulled himself away from Doug to look him in the face. "You came back."

His lover nodded. "I realized that I wouldn't have Judy or Harry to hang out with on Saturday night." Tom's disappointed face drew out a small smile from Doug. "And I realized I couldn't have you. I couldn't kiss you every day, I couldn't tell you to loosen up when you're being uptight about a case, I couldn't –"

"I get it, Penhall," Tom said, smiling. Within the last two minutes his world had changed again. He could hardly believe it. "You do realize that you'll be on desk duty at work for at least two months, right?"

Doug nodded, still smiling as they leant toward each other and kissed. He walked toward the couch; Tom was still safely attached to him, and he sat down, finally loosening his grip around him. At long last, Tom pulled back, tears welled in his eyes. "Thank you," he said quietly, lightly tracing his fingertips over Doug's shirt.

"I love you," the other cop whispered, slowly running his fingers through Tom's dark hair. "What could I do?"

Tom smiled again, and leant in to kiss his lover. _This is the way it has to be, _he thought to himself. _This is real, and nobody can take it away from me. _


End file.
